. . . I hate to play mind games . . .

But sometimes I simply have to. *sighs*

|Meduza|

I'm nervous. Really, really nervous.

I'm starting uni tomorrow. Introduction to Linguistics, with a focus on Hebrew . . . I'll be the youngest there. For sure. I'm only 15 years old. And almost seven months. Everyone there will be about, OVER, probably, 20. Finishing the army, maybe even traveling in India . . . Over 20 for sure.

Sure, I get better with people these ages better. And I think I'd like the class. I'm surely going to ask questions. XD But, y'see, I'm NERVOUS. Like at the point of 'holy shit I can't stop moving my leg'.

. . . what do you take to your first day? Book. Gotta remember that. Notebook? Big notebook. With squares. Mostly because I have no other thing . . . Pencil and eraser and pen. Sure, finished with those.

Now, first impression:
I'm going to DIE. I hate meeting new people . . . always making me nervous. :( It's natural, sure, but it doesn't mean I have to LIKE feeling that . . . because I DON'T.

Err. Had a small progress in maths. Functions! I seem to have gotten that quickly. Yeah. And I decided that maths are easy. Whoopee. Doesn't mean I like it more.

My computer has no sound. It's funny. I'm used to listen to music all the time. And now I listen to music from the stereo. Which is funny. Mostly because the computer speakers are in front of me and the stereo's are behind me . . . not used to that. It's annoying me. . .

Got Windows XP Professional. Yaaaay.

Not.

It's funny. As I told Allyx and AS-nii-chan, "It's an eye-candy that's way too sweet". But I got it to look like 'classic', so it's way better. The icons look 'eerie' and 'airy'.

Going to either a museum {Israeli Museum in Jerusalem} or the Biblical Zoo in the same city. I'm not sure which I should choose . . . probably the museum.

Shiri and I subscribed to my city's {town? It's the same word in Hebrew . . . kinda . . .} theatre. We'll have 6 shows that are set and one that we choose. My god, I'm being 'dragged' to watch Russian CLASSIC ballet.

Reading manga. I like manga. I like stories. I hate PWPs. They're so pointless, and I seem to stumble on them more and more. Gotta send a suggestion to FP.com and FF.net to be able to view over 100 finds in the search option . . . several pages, 50-100 finds per page. I don't think it's a bad idea . . . -_-;;; And it'd help me to find more shounen-ai/yaoi/slash stories. Yep.

Need to take a shower and sleep. I think I'm shaking. Could be the air conditioning, though . . .

God, I'm screwed.

|Meduza|

Now, this is highly disturbing:

I'm talking with Ricky. Yaaaaaay! She asks me whether I breathe through my mouth or nose when I sing. Yay? She suddenly blinks and goes: "You have a pretty mouth."

Eh?

"Really, looks like it's been drawn."

Doll? Me? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

"Um. Is it good?"

"I just said it was pretty, then why would it be bad?"

-_-;
My life's just getting weirder and weirder as people notice things in my life . . . next time someone would comliment my tongue, since all the rest of it was already complimented. -_-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

|Meduza|

Okay. I'm alive. Funny how it works, isn't it? @_@

Got the dates of when I have my Lingui Intro classes. Thursdays once a week at 10:15 in Ramath-Gan . . . happy happy joy joy, rush hours. @_@

Went to the doctor a few days ago, which was quite the, well, um, experience.

There was a woman there. *cringes* Was introduced as a friend, but I don't believe it. Nuh-uh. I should've demanded her OUT of the room, I don't care if she was a trainee or not. God damn it, I was feeling nervous already, I haven't been there for at least two years when It's practically been my home when I was 9.

I've been told to do a blood test.
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!
Yes, a blood test. "You look pale," she said. Well, of course I look pale. I rarely go outside in the middle of the day. X_x;

. . . holy shit, which reminds me, wasn't I supposed to go with Ayeleth to the beach? @_@ I'll ask her tomorrow . . . today? Blargh.

Anyhow, blood pressure and blood test. First blood pressure examination said 'MISTAKE!' Second was okay. I swear, in the last month people's been having trouble detecting my pulse. I've had a woman looking for it all over my wrist for at least five mintues to detect it, when I was hearing my heart beating so loud. BLAH.

Blood test . . . nightmare. I hate needles. I really do. I started saying random rubbish that wasn't even correct. I can't even remember what I said . . . after the nurse started cleaning my finger {like hell I'm going to let anybody near my vein, I'll NEVER donate blood . . .}, I jumped out of the chair and went to get a nice cup of water to drink so I won't have to look at the needle. Well, I was so surprised I jumped. Literally. ^_^; I'm lucky the needle hadn't ripped my finger. Then when I was scolded {for the what, 10th time that day with the nurse?} I only cringed when the needle got in and almost crushed my plastic cup I held in the other hand . . . Blargh. Then my finger's been pressed, which didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. It's just the needle that hurt me . . . I hate needles, and I hate bleeding. Don't get me wrong, though. I still like blood.

Was told then to go to a gynecologist so I'd get a reference for an ultrasound examination, since I've always complained about stomach pains . . . and I'm quite sure it has nothing to do about 'those organs', because it's when I eat PEPPER. The doctor completely ignored it and only told me to start noticing when menstruation starts in each month and how long it takes. The fuck? I just told her I have cramps every month and that it's irregular {well, I don't even have it for two years! It's NORMAL! And I still have it at least once a month! @_@} And she sends me to a gynecologist . . .

I'm not anemic, though. w00t!

----------ooh, I can send files through mIRC now! YAY! Now, starting a server . . .

|Meduza|

Talked to the supposedly new voice teacher earlier, my lesson will be on Friday at 14:00. YAY! Gonna have to sing her a song, though. I haven't sang since the middle of July. -_-;;

Heh, did the disorder test again. From four high {!!!} got down to two. Three moderates to four and three lows to four. Cool. I'm getting saner by the minute.

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Moderate
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Low
Avoidant:	High
Dependent:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

|Meduza|

. . . I . . . don't know what to say . . .

Xandra, one of my favourite authoresses used my last name in her story. I . . . was surprised, to say the least . . . She had no idea it was my last name, but STILL . . . She also says she's going to use Netta and Ithamar. O.O I can understand Ithamar, it looks pretty, but Netta? Neta looks better, but people tend to read it as Nita . . . -__-;

I'm flattered, honestly. But what do you say to a person that decided to use your last name {BTW, did you know that the meaning of my full name combined would be 'A Women's Bandanna Seedling'? Like, there's a seedling for a women's bandanna . . . XD} in her story, and it's an authoress that you very appreciate?

Still surprised. o.O O.o

I want her to update. T_T

|Meduza|

Been awhile since last blogged . . . yeah . . . Computer managed to die on me. X_X SEVRAL times. Got a new HD though, so it's okay. It's funny to see how much space I'm using; 3.5/75GB. Do not worry, it will not last . . . ^_^;

I'm addicted to a story. One of the bests I've read. X_X Divinitas.

My Dream is a conscious desire . . .
My Wish is my Heart and Soul's obsession . . .
Your Will is what can alter and possess both . . .


. . . and once you read the story, it SO has a different meaning. X_X

Hmm. I have to go to the doctor at Thursday at twelve, must remember that. And bug my mum about voice developing lessons. Sad thing is that the teacher only teaches on Fridays . . . weird . . . -_- And Alex suggested that I'd study Theory of Music. I dunno if I want to, all I want to do is SING.

My father still holds the opinion that to sing you need the notes to know what you're singing. I say it's bullshit. I know what I'm singing and I'm almost never off-key. I only need the words, only because I'm used to them. If I started singing by notes, I'll have to count on them to sing . . . and I'm afraid of that, I don't WANT to be dependant of papers {right grammar? Not sure}. It's just like reading . . . my memory would've been much better if I didn't depend on notes. I think. What does it have to with with music theory? I dunno, but it seems connected. I want to sing how *I* know, not what people *tell* me to sing . . .

Ergh, better not go there, I can talk about it for hours on no end. Those of you who had the misfortune to hear my ramblings about singing would understand me.

What else? . . . the Academic year would start soon, towards the end of September. I'm happy 'bout it. It's supposed to be really interesting.

If I went to shcool still, I would've started the high school three days ago, on the 31st. It's . . . I . . . well, I'll never understand how high schools in Israel are, I guess. I missed my chance to go to the city's high school, and it kinda eats me from the inside. Not the system . . . I want to be with the people, but I know that they work together, and I know that at the moment I can't handle a pressuring system like the high school is right now, with at least three bagrut exams each year. It's not that I'm not going to do the bagrut exams, it's just that the pressure the teachers put on you . . . it's terrible. But it's HIGH SCHOOL and I kinda WANT TO GO. It's not junior high or elementary school. I'm sure it could be a lot better, just like the junior high was compared to elementary school . . . did you know that the popular defination in my school died out by itself when I was in the sixth grade? I doubt it that people even think about popularity anymore. They only think about their friends . . .

Learned Hebrew Grammar today, and for the first two hours, I felt like an idiot. I was so OUT of it . . . almost frightening how out of it I was.

Err . . . going to the chatroom; might help me decide about the music theory thingie.

|Meduza|