Ugh.
Sick.
Again. @________@;;;

Feeling like shit. >_<

Was almost taken to emergency room {mom even started to pack}.

Goddamit, I hate feeling like this. >_<

|Meduza|

I am proud to say I have caused today a miniature car accident.

I'm fine, thank you. I also think the cars are just okay. The drivers are a bit angry, I think. . .

Psychology course just finished, and it was cold. So cold. o.o So I took over my friends arm and we both shook. o.o;; I told her to tell me when it's green in both traffic lights {gotta cross two with traffic lights and one without}. So when it was green I crossed the first onewithout the light and without the zebra crossing. o..........o Then I crossed the second one in light running. Then I crossed the third. . .There was a car. I stopped, and it stopped, so I crossed. So suddenly there was another car who crashed into it lightly {no harm to the drivers and cars, I think}. o-o I crossed it and try to sta as far as I could from there {waited for my brother's babysitter to come and pick me up. . . @_@} They step at the side, and start to argue, looking and pointing at me. @_______@ At some point I go a bit further and stand by a bus stop. They still look and point at me, and then the one who stopped for me tells me something I couldn't hear, so I came closer. . .And then Ayelet came, I looked at them for the last time, and jumped to her car, only to find out she also took my dog along, and that that dog was in the front sit. The place *I* was going to sit in. So as I told Ayelet "gogogo" I ignored Bis and closed the door, and only later we passed her to the back seats. o-o

~the end~

|Meduza|

Spring is here.

The first mosquito this year had stung me. This symbolizes my spring.

Let's ignore the fact it's still February and it's raining, winding and hailing like there's no tomorrow, okay? ^_^

|Meduza|

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I'm fifteen! FIFTEEN! I had my birthday twelve minutes ago!

Althought I'll really be fifteen in nine hours. o.o

Oh hell.

I'm fifteen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so happy at the moment I could just die!!!

But all I'll do is to sleep. ;)

|Meduza|

As you see, I changed the layout {with a little help from Blogger. . . and a tiny *glares* bit from Nathan. }. Although I don't think the comment are all okay. I'll make Ma-nii-chan take a look.

I like this layout better. Darker, more depressing. . .Me. :P

Anyways, I sat here for two hours and coded. o_O;;; It's not a lot of coding, but I don't know HTML, so I guess it's all right.

Anyhow, I'm late, and I gotta go!

|Meduza|

Wai! I can finally blog!

My voice developing lesson will be tomorrow. o.o The teacher was supposed to have a concert. . .But in Jerusalem there's snow. o.o So I get the voice lesson. ^_____^

Tomorrow, at this time, I will be fifteen. ^_^ I\ve gotten to another milestone.

First one was my tenth birthday. Then mt twelfth birthday. Fifteen is another one, then it's sixteen. Then eighteen, then twenty. And thirty, and then thirty five. Then fifty, sixty, seventy. ^__________^ I won't continue further, because I know I'll die at about seventy. ^^;

Gotten into that explosion I waited to with Onii-chan {CyMage}.

Was in a moody mood yesterday.

And I think I told someone a bit more than I should've. @_@

|Meduza|

*yawns*

My parents are weird. @_@

So good to go to sleep with a smile. =D

|Meduza|

So happy. ^_^

Night, see you in eight hours! XD

|Meduza|

o-o

I finally won against Rattie-chan. o-o

"[22/02-12:23:51] <ÌC-Cat> I won. ^_^
[22/02-12:24:05] <ÌC-Rat> Yes, you did."

And so we changed #elysium's topic... @_@

*feels unexpectedly happy*

|Meduza|

I'm a coward.

|Meduza|

It's scary to see 'Rat calling Nee-chan "Sweetie".

@_@

He has aop.

AOP!

>_< *cries*

|Meduza|

Tired.
So tired.
So so tired.
So so so tired.
So so so so tired.
So so so so so tired.
So so so so so so tired.
So so so so so so so tired.
So so so so so so so so tired.
So so so so so so so so so tired.
So so so so so so so so tired.
So so so so so so so tired.
So so so so so so tired.
So so so so so tired.
So so so so tired.
So so so tired.
So so tired.
So tired.
Tired.

After writing "tired" so much it doesn't look like it's how it's spelt. @_@ @_@ @_@

Maybe it's just my tiredness.

And weariness.

And sickeness.

And not up-to-date glasses.

Bah.

|Meduza|

"[18/02-03:14:05] <+Sleeping-Cat> "Beautiful"- Christina Aguilera:
[18/02-03:14:10] <+Sleeping-Cat> One of the worst songs I've ever heard. Her shrieking voice hurts your ears, and the non-exist music is repetitive.
[18/02-03:14:15] <+Sleeping-Cat> From 1 to 10, I give it 2. It does has some good parts."

Hm.

Maybe blogging will help?

o-o

Eight days to birthday. ^_^

Well. I think I'm starting {or finishing...} to be sick. My body heat was yesterday lower than usually. o_o Maybe it's my turn to be sick? o-o After all my family feel better? @_@

Eight days to birthday!

|Meduza|

A bit late, sure. But still,

Happy Valentine's Day. I love you all. ^_^

Okay, I decreased the number of days that would show in the page. From a week to three days.

I also added two links to Baka-ken and kp's blogs!

....Ma-nii-chan, fix my blog again. ^-^

|Meduza|

If the living won't remember the dead, who will?

|Meduza|

w00t. School experience!

Unlike Rattie-chan, I was never transferred. o-o Although I did want it.

First grade in primary school was okay. Had my two best friends, met a couple of girls to talk to... had a nice teacher. I was quick with reading, I was good at math, and I wonder what we were taught more than that. At the end of the year, both of my best friends left. I was too young to keep in touch, though.

So on the second grade, I was sort of alone, just with another two girls that I found somewhat intelligent. Had the same teacher, and now we started to learn Torah. I was fine until the end of the first half. Then I started to be late, stopped doing homework, and falling behind with math. At some point we took tests for IQ measuring. I passed the first test, took the second, and failed. The problem was that I didn't plan on failing, nope. It was a big hit for my ego.

On the third grade I lost another one of my friends. She was still in class... but we weren't that close anymore, so I stick to the other friend. Had the most horrible teacher. Started to learn geography and English. Sucked at English. Sucked at math. I was good in the other subjects, though. I loved geography. That was the most horrible year I had in school. Annoying classmates who wanted to mature faster than they did. Got my first 0 in math. :\ Didn't like that. So I refused to go. Mom and Dad gave up. But mom told me I didn't exist for her when I was at home and not at school. After that she dragged me back to school. Got my first therapist.

In all the above, had about 35 students in my class.

Fourth grade, the school split my class. It had now just 25 students. The smallest class at school, without counting the one with the children with problems. Still sucked horribly at English and math. I was good at literature and Hebrew grammar though. And geography, so it was all good. Had a better teacher that stayed with the class for three years. I started to have rage attacks about then, and I attacked my best friend about five times in two years. :\ Including ruining objects.

Fifth grade, another student arrived to our class. Got an English teacher who taught me English properly. I was getting better than the rest of the class quickly. I still sucked at math at the first half. But than my teacher got a clue that I wasn't against her, and sat me next to her in classes and explained the stuff to me. I was starting to be better at it, and life began to look good.

At the sixth grade, the secondary school was around the corner. I passed my classmates in English, and actually read HP in English. XD The third book, in... three, two weeks? o_O Anyways, I had a new math teacher. She hated me, I hated her, all well. The last teacher didn't teach me everything I needed to know, and the class was getting ready for the next year. We started to learn history, and I was GOOD at it. The year moved, and the teachers started to make the graduation party. o-o I really hated my homeroom teacher until then. Damn it, the bitch gave me too many things to do there!! My grandmother died three months before I had my bat-mitzvah {twelfth birthday for Jewish girls}, and I insisted to do it in a different way. o-o I really learned to like my class until the end of the year, and a sentence we all said, "why did we have to wait to the graduation to like each other that much?". I got into an understanding with the math teacher, and I passed all the tests she gave me.

Then I got into the secondary school. The first half of the year was GREAT. I was good at history, we learned biology, and I liked everything. Even math was starting to look good. Then something happened {still trying to understand what}, and I stopped going to school, and got depressed. Went for a day here, and a day there, but I went to school more than didn't.

Eighth grade was something else. I barely went. I failed all the tests. I was still good at some subjects. We stopped learning geography, and started to learn chemistry. I sucked at it. I stopped coming slowly.

Now, the ninth grade, I'm not going. Decided to learn without school, and get better results in less time. I get these results, and it's interesting, and fun. ^_^

What about high school? We'll see. ^-^

|Meduza|

I am sad to inform that I have gotten addicted to caffeine.

Sadly, after drinking two mugs of coffee today, I have also discovered that my dislike to coffee has not yet decreased.

|Meduza|

Hm. Another thing.

You can't change the past... All you can do is to influence the future.

When something happens now, I try to be there and support. And give advices. Yelling doesn't help- I can say I wasn't pleased with what happened.. but that's all.

I got now something my friend tried to explain to me for an hour.

|Meduza|

I feel bad. In more than one way. And I shall blog about it.

I hurt Nathan. And I feel bad about it. I hate to hurt people, especially when it gets into their basic instincts. It's just that I consider him as a good enuogh friend to tell him I have a problem.

But not enough to tell him what it is.

And I do want to tell him... but.. :\

We talked about it, sure. Neither ran away from that. Which is good, I think.

Anyways, I don't know what to do. :\\


Second thing-
I think I'm catching something. A cold?

Today at the voice practicing I couldn't stand and breathe as I needed. So I sat. :\ I can' breathe too deeply because then I get a dizzy, and a headache, and I can't focus.

Which happens a lot lately.

I also sleep a lot. Hard to wake up. :\\

Third thing-
Hurt the place where the lips join with a toothpick.
/=

|Meduza|

Took it from Ginn... too. ^^;

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE ME:
01 | Feeling alone.
02 | Betrayal.
03 | Heights. ^^;

THREE PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME LAUGH:
01 | Shahar.
02 | Maya.
03 | Just about everyone. ^^


THREE THINGS I LOVE:
01 | Reading.
02 | Talking about philosophical stuff that I don't understand. ^^;;;;
03 | You!


THREE THINGS I HATE:
01 | When someone's impatient.
02 | Lies.
03 | High heels and pantyhoses. =D


THREE THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND:
01 | 'Rat.
02 | People.
03 | Monthly periods. XD


THREE THINGS ON MY DESK:
01 | Computer.
02 | Discs.
03 | Lots and lots of papers and notebooks and books.


THREE THINGS I'M DOING RIGHT NOW:
01 | Blogging.
02 | Reading.
03 | Thinking of going to sleep.


THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
01 | Know everything. :]
02 | Be happy {it's a complicated thing for me to be happy. I thought about it once. Didn't finish that thought yet}.
03 | Being understandable.


THREE THINGS I CAN DO:
01 | Listen.
02 | Say something brilliant in one moment and in the other to say the most stupidest thing ever. v_v
03 | Math. When I REALLY feel like it.


THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY:
01 | Relaxed.
02 | Depressive.
03 | Cheerful {don't ask. Okay? ^^}.


THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY LOOKS:
01 | Usually green eyes. Sometimes gray, rarely blue. Rarest- brown.
02 | Brown hair.
03 | ...curvey. o-O


THREE THINGS I CAN'T DO:
01 | Get to somewhere where I usually go to on time.
02 | Calculate.
03 | Write on demand.


THREE THINGS I THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO:
01 | Britney Spears.
02 | Jennifer Lopez {sp?}.
03 | Christina Aguilera {sp?}.
NOTE: No, I don't think like that. :P


THREE THINGS I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO EVER:
01 | Everything you don't like.
02 | ...american pop.
03 | New metal.


THREE THINGS I SAY THE MOST:
01 | Oof.
02 | *random sound*.
03 | Why.


THREE OF YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOODS:
01 | Spaghetti. Sometimes. With ketchup.
02 | Tomatoes.
03 | GUMS!!!.


THREE THINGS YOU'D LIKE TO LEARN:
01 | Learn more languages. ^-^
02 | To be on time. XD
03 | Why!


THREE BEVERAGES YOU DRINK REGULARLY:
01 | Water.
02 | Tea.
03 | Sometimes when really tired, coffee. Yuck.


THREE SHOWS YOU WATCHED WHEN YOU WERE A KID:
01 | Parpar Nehmad.
02 | Parpar Nehmad.
03 | Parpar Nehmad. :P
NOTE: I'm not repetitive!

|Meduza|

Kwok made me think!

"Leave earlier then ^^"

I can't leave early. I'm always late. I was kicked out of the prevention of road accidents project... five times when I was in the sixth grade. And because I had a small class... :\ The teacher put me back in everytime. ^^; It was a nightmare. To wake up at six in the morning, to get ready just to be at school at seven and fifteen minutes...

And I was always late.

Sometimes in five minutes. Sometimes in ten. Sometimes in fifteen minutes... I sometimes even missed it completely and went straight to school instead of going to the road I was supposed to go to stand in the pedestrian crossing. When it rained, when it was hot... =_=

I remember that in the elementary school, when I was late, depended on how Esthi {the teacher} felt at the day. Sometimes she'd jsut tell me to sit down when I was late to class. Sometimes to go to secretariat to get a note, and sometimes to stand in the corner for an hour. o_O

The sad thing is that I didn't even care to stand in the corner. I was used to it.

I got lectures of "stop being late!". Tons of them. Most of them was like Kowk's- "Leave earlier then ^^". I can't leave earlier. I wake up HOURS beofre I have to go.

And I'm still late.

|Meduza|

A really long post was not posted here for several reasons, known only for the blogger and several others.

|Meduza|

A while ago it rained.

And I felt like it washed a lot off me.

|Meduza|

Life is way too confusing for my taste.

o.o

|Meduza|

On my "to do list"!:

1)- take vitamins.

Took.

2)- Take a shower.

..later.
^_^

*lazy*

|Meduza|

Don't I value my privacy?

Of course I do. If I give it someone.. it's not because I don't value it. But because I trust him/her enough to give it.

What do I have to hide?
Me?

I started telling B-nii-chan something. And stopped. Because it was hard on me. I couldn't continue telling him that thing anymore.

Maybe that week fucked up my brain.
Not even a week.
Half a week.

Wait.
I know it fucked up my brain.

But I wonder how.

|Meduza|

I somehow broke my blog.

XD

|Meduza|

WAI!

Got a bit more of Iddy!

XD

|Meduza|

Well.

No more Iddy.

|Meduza|

I'm fucking SICK of my "why"s.

...why do I ask "why" all the time?

WHY?!

|Meduza|

Miserable, sad and depressed.

:\

|Meduza|

Iddy is a very big piece from my internetic life.

And I didn't understand it until today. When he's LEAVING to IRAQ in two days.

When he's not going to be here anymore.

To tell you plain and simple? I don't want him to leave. I don't want him to die or to get hurt.

If he does, I'll kill him.
If he doesn't... yay for me. And him.

I can tell you what I think he is now.
He's hesitant. He's not sure what he should do. Had hard life, sure. He's a lot like me. But shows it differently. I'd trust him with my life. I trust him with how I feel, dammit.

And it's a lot of trust to tell someone how you feel. When he can hurt you.

But I trust him he won't.

I love that dad of mine. :\ And I don't want to lose him.

|Meduza|

Hm.

I feel like I need to say it again:

Thank you, Rattie-chan. :)))))

|Meduza|

Yes, yes, YES!

I'm going to start singing again! ^_______________^

W00T! O_O

^-^

Today's... foggy. o.o
Very, very foggy.

o.o

|Meduza|

And now for something most people would understand.

Corwin, don't insult my humour! ><

Okay, anyways...

The first thing I did when I watched TV, is laughing.
I laughed for five minutes.
I knew then that they were dead... so I laughed.
The first thing that popped into my head.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

And something happier.

I heard Nee-chan's voice.
And Dad's.
And I know how Marshmallow-nii-chan sounds...

And I don't want them to hear mine. >_< Because it would require talking. And my accent... is bad. @_@

|Meduza|

ìà áà ìé ìëúåá áàðâìéú ëøâò, åäîçùá ìà îåëï ìúú ìé ìëúåá áàðâìéú ëøâò, àæ àðé ëåúáú áòáøéú.

îòáåøú äçìì "÷åìåîáéä" äúôåööä äéåí îòì è÷ññ. áùòä àøáò àçä"ö ìôé ùòåï éùøàì, ðàñ"à àéáãä àú ä÷ùø òí äîòáåøú. ìà éåãòéí áãéå÷ îä äáòéä... àáì... àåìé äîçùá, àå äãì÷, îîù ìà éãåò.

àéìï øîåï, äàñèøåðàåè äøàùåï ðîöà òì äîòáåøú. ééúëï ùëáø ìà, ëé äåà ãé îôåæø áòåìí ëøâò.

ëï, æàú äéúä áãéçä ùì äåîåø ùçåø.

îçø äëéúä ùìé éåöàú ìèéåì ùðúé. åàðé ìà éåöàú àéúí. áîùê ùìåù äùðéí äàçøåðåú, âí àí *ëï* äééúé ááéú äñôø ðîðòúé îæä. :\ àðé äåìëú ìäú÷ùø ìâìéú áîùê äèéåì. :\\\

ùéäéä.

|àéùìâ|

...everything.. feels the same..

Nothing's special.
Nothing's unique.

Everything is the same as everything, that's just the same as everything...

It's not the I want it to be like that.

It just is.

|Meduza|