I hate myself for being the inconsidering, elitist, spoilt, snob, annoying, selfish, incompetent, imperfect bitch that I am.

|Meduza|

Test test.

Explenations later.

|Meduza|

Finally decided to do something about the Weatherpixie.
Israel is *NOT*, so very NOT is Europe.

It could pass as Africa.
BUT EUROPE?!?!?!?!

"Maybe you could help. In the Weatherpixie list, Israel is listed under Europe, while in fact, it is in Asia. It could be passed as Africa sometimes, but I was wondering: When did Europe take over Israel and moved it from its place in the Middle East that is in Asia?

Yours sincerely,
Net'.
|Meduza|"

|Meduza|

Cool picture: http://cruelangel.net/divinitas/artworks/groups/2002group03s.jpg

An artwork for Divinitas, one of the stories I want them to be updated to very badly . . . I wanna know what happens next . . .

Finished watching Kanon.
The end SUCKED so very much.

Thankyou.

|Meduza|

Waaah . . . gotta drink lots of fennel tea so I won't be in too much pain in late night/early morning. :((( It's the first time I try to prevent it, though. I hope it'll work. If it won't, I'll be in awful pain. So I'm gonna drink lots and lots of fennel tea. ;_;

It's not that I don't LIKE fennel tea. It's . . . nice. Tastes a bit weird, though. And I use it now after the last attack as a calming medicine . . . which it isn't, but I hope it'll help anyhow. It helped that other time . . . hopefully my body won't get used to it, blechs. Two attacks in three months, it's SO not fair.

. . . so I'm drinking fennel tea in hopes of not getting a third attack.

And in both times I ended puking my guts out, and I SO hope it won't happen this time. ;_;

Fennel tea, here you come . . .

|Meduza|

. . .
Just noticed that I have a picture of a rooster over my bad.

The irony of it doesn't skip over me. ._.

|Meduza|

The art of writing.
Hm.

It's amazing, how you make something that wasn't there BE there. Inventing new lives, new situations, new people. It's not like ruining something, making something that was there simply not exist anymore. It's CREATING.

I want to be able to do it everytime I wanted.
But it won't help me to want, now will it?

|Meduza|

Three new news:

1) I have become a Fangirl. After two years of avoiding this fate, I have become a fangirl of shounen-ai.
And by the looks of it, yaoi's next.

I DON'T WANT THIS!!!

2) Eh. It's harder to get into the Open University than thought. Since I'm underaged I need all sorts of special papers.
Eh. Plus the latest record. Dammit, I wasn't given any report cards ever since the first half of the eighth grade. *scowls* Maybe I'll talk to Miki, or something. The Hebrew Grammar teacher at my old school. I was in the test and got over 85% with only one lesson about that kind of stuff . . .
Eh.

3) Been told yesterday by my voice teacher that next week will be our last lesson. I like the teacher. :( I don't wanna switch teachers . . . I mean, Laani knows me! I know Laani! We know of the other's quirks! And she managed to drag me to a place where my limit is when I sing WELL. SINGING. Not HUMMING. And I got to that note HUMMING. I FEEL that I progressed, and so does she, and, well, I DON'T WANT TO CHANGE A TEACHER WHEN I'M ON THE VERGE OF GETTING RID OF THE AIR IN MY VOICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Getting to higher notes will be dangerous. I seem to not be able to internalise the fact that you don't sing higher notes from the throat. ;_; And since I like my throat and voice very much, I won't get to a dangerous ground. I want to lose neither!! HAHAH!

She made me promise I'd continue to study voice developing. Sure, I ditch it sometimes out of laziness, she says, but I DO love singing, I CAN sing well, and if I work hard, I DO have the potential of becoming a professional. Since I don't want to be a professional, I just want to sing more . . . I can't STAND not sing. I can't stand not being around music. It's just that something's awfully wrong in the world, and then I'm restless, and then I'm in a bad mood. Sure, I might see black after singing 'properly' for a while, and get a sore throat. Not sore, more like--aching, maybe? It feels good. ^_^ I feel sometimes so bad when I sing that I feel I'm close to fainting, but I never, not even once, considered stopping singing because of that. So yeah. I have the detemination. ^_^ But my true love goes to linguistics. :D

|Meduza|

Wai! Wai! Wai!

I'm gonna be a uni student from Sep or Oct!
Wai! Wai! Wai!

And I'm not even 16!
Wai!

Okay, Shiri suggested that I study something that she can't teach me in Hebrew grammar in the Open University.
I jumped on the offer, naturally. ^_^; I'm gonna take a course at Introduction to Linguistics so I could study some more advanced stuff later. It's gonna be fun!

. . . now it's just paying the uni. Happy happy, joy joy.

|Meduza|

Wai!
Finally finished writing the fourth chapter of Talk to Me. I wrote it once a few months ago, but then I wrote it again, and when I discovered that I had it already written {I also wrote two different things, mind you . . . -_- I have no clue what I'll be doing with that fic}, I added the last part from the last version, and voila! An update on MediaMiner.org because FF.Net doesn't work.

The little joys of life.
@_@

Here it is. ^_^


Also found a few GOOD manga-like stories.
1) Dark Illustrations: Sketches in Blood by Xandra
20 ParaNormal by TheArchimage

Finished the second one, reading the first . . . it's good. VERY good. Adrian just, well, dunno what. Met the Light Man. o.o;
No clue WHAT it means, though. ^_^;

On another note, I'm talking to my parents for two whole days already.
Wow.

|Meduza|

Hmmmmmmmm. I started a new story, "Cinderella Boy" after disliking the anime. >_> Hopefully I'll finish it . . .

I think I'm starting to like our prime minister, Sharon. He's got a BRAIN. And he can USE it. That Norwegian prime minister DESERVED that. >_<

Nighty night.
I think I should stop eating so many fruits. O-o But they're so yummy. *_* Gimme more, and tomatoes and avocadoes and take everything else and I'll be a happy seedling. :P

|Meduza|

Blinches recipe!

Blinches:

Servings: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7
{ingredients}
Cups of flour: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7
Cups of milk: 1 1/2 | 3 | 4 1/2 | 6 | 7 1/2 | 8 | 9 1/2
Eggs: 2 | 4 | 6 | 8 | 10 | 12 | 14
Tablespoons of oil: 2 | 4 | 6 | 8 | 10 | 12 | 14
Teaspoons of salt: 1/3 | 2/3 | 1 | 1 1/3 | 1 2/3 | 3 | 2 1/3

Mix the ingredients together until the dough is more or less smooth. Heat 1/3 teaspoon of oil in a heated pan, fry it until it's golden.

{You can change anything more or less; fry it halfway and then put something in the middle and continue, or after it's done or anything. It's a playable recipe. You can put stuff like white cheese, meat, salads, almost everything}

I know it's a little messy . . . sorry. ^^;; Just write it down and organise it. ^^;

If you don't worship this, you're dead. ^^
|Meduza|

Downloading fics.

Just started downloading fics . . . I should've started doing that a long time ago. :\ I miss Plum Blossoms, a CCS fic, no clue who wrote it.
It was AMAZING.

And it's gone. -_- So I started saving fics on my computer. Will have to work on that for about two days, and then I'll just relax until a new chapter comes out. And like that I'd have the chance to clear my favourites in FF.Net. I miss a few good fics because of that. . . ;_;

Yep. Still thirsty.
And tired.
And I wanna write a better closure for HnG . . . *sigh*

|Meduza|

"The peak of my day"

I LOVE my cousin's way of writing. So funny. XD And the thing that made me chuckle evilly {as much as I can, that is} is what she wrote in her blog:

" . . . it became like that that the peak of my day [except from drawing on a large bristol Pikachu, ome of the Young Ninja Turtles turtle and one smurf, of course] is that one of my potentioal cadet { . . . 'scoutgirl'}'s 21 year old brother tried to start with me" {that's the expression? Got no clue. ^_^;} "over the phone."

. . .
Yep.
Boring indeed.

|Meduza|

LOL. Wrote today in last year's 5 points English Bagrut exam the following 'Official Letter':

The subject:

8. The community center in your neighborhood has its own TV channel and wants to offer a program called Your Choices. The station manager has asked people in the neighborhood to suggest movies (features, documentries, animation, etc) they would like to see on the channel.

Write a formal letter to the station manager, naming a movie or two (real or imaginary) you would like the station to show and explaining your choice.

And what I wrote:

To: Mr. Tvholic, 5/5, Tvland
From: Movie Holic, 10/8, Tvland
16/7/03

Dear Mr. Tvholic, I have seen your ad, where you asked that the people watching the chaneel should suggest movies they would like to see on the channel.

I would like to watch the documentry movie that was done earlier this year by 'Docstudios', named "How Can They Live?" about living in different lands; such as Sportsland, Bookland, and even Mathsland! A lot of people that I know would like to find out, once and for all, what the people in those lands are interested in so much, that they don't even have the time to watch the recommended amount (four hours as of today) of TV by the Landtional Health Centre.

Another movie I would like you to put on your channel, is how you make a movie. I I am not mistaken, its name is "Create Your Movie Life" by 'MoviStudio', because I'm thinking about quitting my job as a potato-couch seller and to start directing movies.

Yours sincerely,
Movie Holic.

|Meduza|

Today's voice lesson was interesting.

Y'see, I had today about two hours of singing. It was great. ^________^ Of course, I couldn't talk later properly. My voice didn't work right, so I was either saying things only with air or jumping up and down in air levels. It's not that I had a sore throught. Just couldn't make my voice WORK.
I think Onee-chan would understand what I just said.

Anyhow, after arriving {I had a lesson at 4, but Laani didn't call me to tell me . . . came at three . . . ^^; she got there at 15:15, and I had a long singing session} and apologizing {skipped last week, yiiiiiiiiiiiik}, and about forty five minutes of exercises, she told me to smile.
Eh?

"Your teeth."
What about my teeth?
"Looks perfect."
Okaaaaaaaaay.
"It is natural?"
Yes. No bracelets or anything.
"Must be genetic."
Nope.
"Ah well, don't forget to smile."

Now that's enough to scare anybody. o-O

Then I sang "Stay Awake" {I truly start to hate this song. I never do it properly, that's what she says} and learned a new song of Ofra Haza that died a few years ago. People say from Aids, I think. And I sadly admit that it's sad that I didn't notice her voice and ability when she was alive. I know she had a beautiful voice, but she could just PLAY with the sounds. Sad and relaxed at the beginning, then getting higher and higher . . . and then all over again. It's a beautiful song, and I know I sing it well. ^_____________^

Finished reading the HnG manga. WTF? That's all they could think of? IT SUCKS. They kept building the tension, and saying things about the future. They didn't put a closure.
I liked the HnG anime better.

Was PKed yesterday in Tibia. Mildly annoyed. That guy said that he heard that *I* was a PKer. I only kill monsters in the game! I don't even touch ants! @_@

Grrrrrrrrrr . . .
*is constantly thirsty*

|Meduza|

. . . I really don't want to finish the HnG manga. I don't think I can stand Sai's leaving again. It's so nerve wrecking. @_@ It's so sad once he decides not to play anymore . . . ;-;

I dunno whwy people aren't happy with the HnG ending. It was open enough so develop some fanfic ideas, but it still held a closure. It was a beautiful ending, and Hikaru no Go is right now one of my favourite anime. Cardcaptor Sakura is still the best manga, though. >_> I like CLAMP's manga.

It's good to be in the sun from time to time. Especially when you're freezing. ^^; I will freeze everytime I'm near my room. This sucks. @-@

My hair's gotten longer. I wonder if I should cut it . . . it's more than shoulder length already. :\ I want to cut at least 7 centimetres {about 3 inches}. I also need to cut my nails, I hate it when I scrathc myself. @_@

Been reading all of the decent HnG fics I could find . . . NOT ENOUGH.

I WANT MORE
MORE
AND MORE

O.O

|Meduza|

Hmmm . . . I dunno if I should be annoyed or simply indifferent. The whole thing makes me feel indifferent . . . it's the little things that annoy me. More like the fact that Shuten's only in #soulriders, and since I left the room for a day {had no other option, got a ban-mute for a day, and since I don't stay where I'm not wanted, I left. Even if it's just for one day}, I lost my queues. :\ I'm annoyed with Uns for getting into the middle of an argue I had with Dracos, and I'm annoyed at Dracos for getting angry after I informed Uns that he is added to my ignore list. I'm not sorry for telling that in the channel, Uns had to know that, I don't want him to think 'why doesn't she respond' or anything. I'm not that cruel. :\ 'sides, a person should know it when you're putting an ignore on him.

Oh, yeah, I'm also annoyed at Dracos for scolding me in front of the whole channel. He may not be subtle, I can take that, but leaving it in the middle of the channel, open like that, is simply wrong. It's a one-on-one thing. And it keeps people like Uns stuffing their nose to where they shouldn't.

But the thing I'm really annoyed with is my queues from Shuten. >_< I WANT MY STELLVIA!!!

But if people think I don't add anything to the level of discussions, they should either tell me or tell Dracos. If he tells me to leave and never come back I'll do so, I don't even think I'll try to come back. I'm not going to where I'm not wanted, remember? I'll read logs or whatever from time to time, I have my closest friends on AIM and other channels, no problem. Only problem is to drag Shuten to another channel . . . >_<

I'm not sorry for what I haven't told 'sorry' for. When I do say I'm sorry, I am. Even if I shouldn't be. But when I'm sure I'm right, I am. I'd like to know when I'm ignored, I'd like to KNOW the rules and not just be expected to know them because it's 'the sensible thing to know' and after I'm told to stop anything I stop it. But I need to know what I have to stop, so if you say 'stop doing this' and not 'stop doing the likes of this', how do you expect me to find out what to do and not to?

. . . full of expectations.

Oh, yeah, I ignored my parents most of the day. *nods*

I'm not even THINKING about saying 'sorry' to them. They think.

I don't have to think, I already thought about everything. I'm a quick thinker, I think about complicated stuff in the matter of seconds. I never catch stuff by looking at it for hours. Either now or never.

Getting an apology out of me in both circumstances would be very hard, even impossible, if you expect for one, because in both cases, I KNOW I was right, at least in some parts. And I know in which parts EXACTLY. So stop thinking that after telling me to stop doing something you can say it again and emphasise it. And don't mute me and then tell me something that I wanted to reply to.

The story of my life.
Enjoy.

|Meduza|

"An attitude leads to an attitude"- I know that. My mother's been saying that for ages.

"Don't be rude"- who said I was rude just because I was complaining? All I told my parents is not to call me to help them before they really want help, because I also have something I'm doing! I'm not going to wait standing in the living room for ten mintues just to watch my father clearing the spot around the television so we could take it off the wall. I have HnG to read. <_<

But STILL. I ALWAYS talked like that, and it never bothered them.
Maybe they're just not used to me complaining about them, huh? Like, serious, present-tensed complaint? Like how they're calling me WAY before everything starts so I'd be there and not oding whatever I wanted with my time until then?

I don't mind to help, I really don't. My mother didn't have to say about her back; I'd have helped them. If it was in the same moment. So after that I just went, and Mom's all like 'I wanted to check that you're awake and see if you can help us'. And I'm 'okay, but why not telling me when you take it off and not just organising everything?'

'Don't be rude'.

I'm not.
I have every reason to be annoyeed with that kind of treatmeant. I'm not going to wait anymore just to them when they want my help or need anything from me or call me before anything. Enough is enough. Maybe they're just used to me being late to everything . . . but STILL. If they want my help, I shouldn't be the one waiting!

. . . how does complaining make me rude? I don't quite get it.

I shouldn't have stayed quiet all those years.

|Meduza|

Deaths {mine} in Tibia:

Level 5: Poison.
Level 7: Orc.
Level 12: Amazon.
Level 12: Minotaur Mage.
Level 12: By the player Mkro men.
Level 15: Giant spider.

|Meduza|

I don't think I can do it. :
It's not really suffering, really not. Not enjoying, just something tedious, meaningless that makes no sense. How do you say in mathematic {???} "cloud"? Do you get that fluffy picture when you say/read it? What is it, is 3956 symbolises 'cloud'? How do you say it? Is 3's meaning an S? Maybe P?

I can't. Maths is not a laungauge. I have no troubles dealing with languages, because I understand them. I know that 'yom' {Hebrew} and 'yaum' {Arabic} mean 'day'. And in mathematic? Or is it Mathematic? I need something with LOGIC. That symbolises something I can understand. And see, and hear. Something REAL. I know how a cloud looks like. It's white and fluffy and floats in the blue sky. It connects with the real word.

Maths aren't HARD. They're just meaningless. I have no trouble sunderstanding, or learning. It's just not comfortable. The fact that it's totally theoretical {psychology at least was studied! Not invented! Was just had to be discovered!} both helps me and kills me slowly. 7 can be anything. So what's X? or Y? Or A? I need to diferentise between them, but people just seem to . . . what's the word? Hm. Not explained. Not real. Imagined.

I think I'll be going to do 3 points. I can always make up the two lost points. I'm disappointed, but it's for my sanity. You can't touch maths. Can't feel, hear, taste, smell, see. It doesn't exist, so it gets no symbolising. I need at least three points . . . just learn by heart several formulae and pass it around the 90-100 mark. Then go to the uni and learn languages. Maybe statistics, if they demand, and I don't know how I'll stand it. :\ I want to be a linguistic. no clue where statistics get into the deal, but it looks like the unis stick this to everyone.

I want to do the five points . . . but linaeric something and other stuff, and graphs- I don't deal with them. Wait. I do with graphs. That's not the point, though. I wanted to do five points, I know I can, EVERBODY KNOw I CAN and it drives me crazy. My mother will accept it . . . we have the same problem. We're both excelent in Hebrew, but I get languages better than her. That talent must've been from my father's side. I'll disappoint myself and him if I'll do three. But I'm not going to ask him. Maths are something that I can't feel. Maybe you must be a special genius to feel them.

A lot of people think the mathematics are teh show of geniusity. So what? Let me be a smart person. I'm happy with what I know, and I'll study what I want WHEN I want. Maths aren't even a challenge anymore . . . It's just something I don't believe in. You can't alter the laws of maths, they aren't as flexible as languages, they just aren't laungages. I refuse to call maths languages. If it's a language, then what IS the word for a cloud? Or a day? Something that I can feel. A cloud has a shade that cools down the area it's in, the day passes and has light in it. I experienced both.

What's there to experience with with maths, huh?

|Meduza|