My grandfather's caramel cream, just so it wouldn't be lost on IRC:

150 grams of sugar, to put in a pot on small fire, to watch it and stir until it becomes caramel {without water}. Before it's starting to boil take it off the fire and stir so the sides of the pot will be covered with caramel.

In another container, eight eggs and eight spoons of sugar {blended before}, one litre of milk and vanilla sugar, about ten grams- mix together with the eggs and sugar CAREFULLY. Pour it all in the caramel pot.

Put the pot in a bigger pot with water in it to the oven {Note: written here 'the water that won't boil', don't get the meaning}. About 180C degrees for an hour, after half an hour you cover it with aluminium foil so it won't burn. You know when it's ready when you poke it a bit and you see the bottom. You cool it for a day, so it'd turn over when serving. {My mother adds here: cooking in a pot in a pot with water on the stove- that's how she makes it}

Voila, enjoy. :P

|Meduza|

[Calendar] I just gave birth to Drac. o.o

|Meduza|

Wow, cool. The blogging page interface's changed!

|Meduza|

This sums the last couple of nights:

[Calendar] I can't be your daddy, I'm your SISTER.

|Meduza|

The quote of the week:

Me: "So since when you're a couple?"
Him: "Since her grandfather caught me lying on her."
Me: "Define 'lying on her'." {History of simply sleep on the other}
Him: "The literal one."
Me: "And why did you do that?"
Him: "Because maybe we were kissing?"
Me: "Oh."

|Meduza|

Well, one good thing is that I'm not angry with someone anymore . . . going to talk to him tomorrow morning, so I better go to sleep . . .

|Meduza|

Right now I'd really like to know why Onii-chan put me on Ignore.

|Meduza|

Running away.
Again.
And repeat.
Running . . .
@_@

I don't like running away from things, but I CONSTANTLY DOING IT.

I've abandoned a thing. Again. Remember 'my' forum of young writers? I've ignored it for over a month now. It's just . . . that forum is so hard. I can't get near there unless I'm depressed. And at the moment, I'm not. I feel so bad about it . . . and my friend tries to tell me it's not as bad as I think, and I don't believe me.

I ran away from being responsible.
Again.

I feel so bad about it . . . @_@

|Meduza|

You never want to hear again:
“Shut your hole”- by my brother’s babysitter’s husband during a bad fight.

When did you fall in love for the first time?
First grade.

For you, what’s the difference between falling in love, having a crush and loving?
‘Instant feelings’ -> Falling in love and having a crush. ‘Lasting feeling’ -> Loving.

Tell us a bit about your big love.
Uh. Internetic love, blagblahblah, said no, blahblah.

How does it change your relationship?
Um, doesn’t. Not really.

Do you believe in love in first sight?
No.

|Meduza|

Started to hunt for all the questionnaires in Israblog.co.il. ^^

Be afraid, I think I'll post one every day, maybe even more . . .

|Meduza|

Weekly Questions:

Do you talk to yourself?
Um . . . sometimes, kinda rarely. ^^;

------------------------------------------------------------
Does it happen to you without noticing?
No, I'm kinda aware to what I'm saying . . . When I talk to myself I do it on purpose.

------------------------------------------------------------
Do you enjoy talking to yourself?
Uh, it's a tool to sort things out . . . my thoughts are really abstract, so they sometimes don't make much sense, and talking helps to focus.

------------------------------------------------------------
Were you ever caught talking to yourself?
Not that I remember . . .

------------------------------------------------------------
Did you ever caught anybody talking to himself?
No, I don't think so.

------------------------------------------------------------
Did he deny that he was talking to himself?
Again, dunno. ^^



These tests are fun . . . I wanna do more!

(C) Israblog.co.il
|Meduza|

A small, white lie isn't a bad thing, right?

>.>

Right?!

<.<

|Meduza|

Ah, yeah . . . my mother's gone nuts.

She took pictures of flowers for her classes few weeks ago. Now the whole big, new dining table is covered with photographs of flowers . . . and sticks that she glues to the flowers.

|Meduza|

From browsing through a friend's blog that I found by mistake, I don't really DISCOVER how intelligent she is. Because I knew that before. She's the material of person that I could be best friends with . . . but no. The way she acts on the outside is either too cheerful, too angry or too depressed. And no person only feels those emotions. Let's not ignore that that's the girl who managed to make me angry after three years of not being able to sennse anger. But she's too dependant . . . Even more than me, which is hard. Really, really hard.

----------------

Told my father a few days ago to stop asking me 'how was at . . . ?'. He wonders why, but I'm not going to be the one that will tell him. I'm not going to tell him 'I hate it when you and mom are interested in me, I hate to tell you things about myself, if I couldn't I would've been disconnecting our relationship'. Well, took it a bit too far, but breaking the relationship sounds . . . almost natural. It'd probably only be 'cool' relationship, just 'hi', 'bye', 'how are you', 'how have you been doing'.

I almost never wanted them to help me, because they used to just . . . ignore. :\ Not the IGNORE ignore. Just having the 'politically correct', cool kind of being interested. They also always wanted me to share my life with them. Only when they wanted. I don't want to talk to them about me, because it feels like they're lecturing and analysing me; They say they don't.

But I don't believe them. They never let me do my OWN mistakes. They ignored my PROBLEMS, only thinking about how PERFECT I am. You try to have your 'cry of help' ignored. My parents themselves DON'T interest me. I hate it, because my father's tending to be tedious, and my mother over emotional when they talk. I'm always afraid that they'd throw the ball AT ME when they talk.

Ah, and the tops:
No matter HOW MUCH I told them I didn't want them to talk about me to people . . . they keep doing it, with all the secrets they think they know. It's so frustrating.

And my father complained yesterday when he thought I was ORDERING him.
Now really,
From where DOES he think I learn to talk like this?

|Meduza|

I still have that stupid grin on my face. It's kinda sad. -__-;;

Well, I called to Tom. Finally. I mean, I have his number for a month already and I just called.'t was amusing. Mainly because when I called the first time he didn't pick up the phone. "Hello, you've reached to the _________" or something like that. I guess that after that was "leave a message after the beep". A message I read later was "Hey, the phones ringing". <.<;;;;;;;;

Called again! This small thing will not be in my way! O_O After a while he picks up the phone. "Hi!" ^^;

Number of facts:
He's cute over the phone. <_<;
He sounded maturer than I thought he would.
There's a difference between knowing somebody online and knowing him in RL. >_>

<.<
>.>

Yeah. I called for nothing. Um. Anyhow, he talked more than me. That was a REFRESHING change. In the beginning I DID have troubles understanding. >_> Well, it takes time to get used to a new accent.

At least it wasn't as freaky as Nathan's. O_O;;;;;

I was forced to use a bad accent in order to understand what he was saying, and translate it, think what it sounded like and THINK and even talk from time to time. >.>

. . . some things that happened that I Did Not Expect:
1) He talked. :P A lot. ^^
2) He picked up the phone. Of course, a second time, but still . . . and there were people around. Or was it the TV? ^^
3) After the "This's really embarrassing" {I will never forget it! XD} line, I started laughing. Couldn't really stop. >_> And that's after he said he was over it. :P
4) He insists that everything has a reason. I insisted otherwise. Change of parts. He complained that the heating doesn't work. O-o; I said we had lots of sun.

Then we both decided we were hungry and hung up. >.>

And now, five hours afterwards I'm still all giggly.
This starts to annoy me.
Does anybody have bad news for me? @_@

|Meduza|

[Sun: 15/06-15:45:06] [C-Rat-Sleep] "It's time to say goodnight to your cyberfriends.."
[Sun: 15/06-15:45:10] [C-Rat-Sleep] My mother is such a traitor.

Just found it utterly amusing. XD

|Meduza|

Posted two short stories to fictionpress.net . . .

Of Angels and Lions {PG13, general/fantasy: In an unknown village angels and lions live, writing the occurances that happen in the world, not knowing about one another . . . but through two incidents, they discover each other. *short-story*}

Sweetheart {R, angst/drama: They are two. One is the chaser, the other is the chased. One was strong, and the other is strong. One will survive, but the other will die . . . *short-story*}

Please read. ^^

|Meduza|

Adopted Ian/Hawk as an older sibling.

Hmm . . . should I adopt 'Rat again? ^^

|Meduza|

Oh, well, what I wrote there was about "Wow, cool! This layout is so DISGUSTING!"

Yep.
'Rat, change your layout.
It's disgusting. ;)

|Meduza|

Gonna translate it later:

"àéæä îâðéá! ëæä òéöåá ãåçä!"

My cousin's words about 'Rat's blog.

|Meduza|

Answers for the weekly questionnaire:

If you could've chosen, in which era would you choose to live in?
In the era right now, really. It's fun.

If you could've chosen to do anything you'd like without considerating money, what would it be?
Languages? Maybe if I wasn't on hiatus, I'd have chosen to write . . . or sing.

In which place would you prefer to be in right now?
<.<
>.>
Melbourne, Australia? ^^;;; Or Hod-Ha'Sharon. My cousin's upset, I want to be with her. >_>

If you could've changed a sibgle moment of your past, what would it have been?
Y'know, something like that was in 'Rat's AIM Info.

"If you could change a single act. A single moment. A single point in time to change as you saw fit, what would you choose?

That your parents never met?
That you chose to work instead of play?
That in the beginnings of the universe... love could be more true than simple vows and words? That it could actually have the power to transcend fate and change destiny?

If you, or anyone you know ever catches sight of actual love, grasp it with both hands and take a share of what joy remains in this world.

If I could change one thing so cosmic and powerful... would I?"

I thought it's powerful, I still do. Hm.
If I could change anything?
The moment my grandmother stepped on my ego about drawing. I can't draw because of her.

Which famous person would you like to be?
I don't want to be one, plain and simple. ^^

-------------

In other words, I'll work on today's trip later. :P

|Meduza|

Okay, calmed down from last night. ^^;;;

Anyway, my day at school yesterday!:
Got to school . . . I was late. o_O Was kidnapped by my history&citizenship teacher again. Worked with different people, and with Erik's little sister. I swear, she's taller than he is. He's LITTLE. So, so very little. o.o And Lily called me everytime the computer was a bit slow {"what's happening now?" "It's working." "And now? Something changed." "It's loading the program . . ." and so on and so on. She thinks I'm a computer genius, or something. o.o;; And I'm most certainly not. ^^;;}. Then, at the fifth hour I raced after the nurse to give me a pad. She did, and I looked for OPEN, UNLOCKED TOILETS. Because they locked the girls' toilets. <_< So I had to go to one of the shared ones! o_O O_o Dammit, it was . . . Ugh. @_@ Then went to do an English test. ^^ Got 92! XD

Today I went to my voice lesson, and said I was thinking about performing, and she says they cancelled it because we didn't want to. Oh well. I had a breakthrough {yay! Less air in my voice! XD} today, and it REALLY improved my voice. And then she got out a little book with songs and told me to choose, because I don't perform and I don't have to practice, so just for fun. ^^ I got ALL the high notes, and she stopped me twice so I wouldn't damage my voice with singng too high. ^^;;;; Well, she finally got the sopranic me, and I had another breakthrough. She said I even had expression in my voice! :D In two memorial songs. ^^ Another one was "Lu Yehi"- so would it be. And a cheerful spring song. ^^ I got back my confidence! :D I'm tempted to drag my sports teacher aside {she's responsible of sports, dancing and singing in my school . . .} and show her what I'm REALLY capable of when I'm not sick. Yep.

Off to cram . . . got a field trip tomorrow, and a history test before it. Y'know, the things I call 'tests' are 60% of the total grade. ^^ Quizzes are 20%. General opinion is 20%. Oh well. ^^

Oh, and 'Rat, it's different things to sing alone and to sing in an choir. . . it's actually harder in the choir, because everybody notices that something's is wrong, they just don't know who it is, and if you sing alone you can MAKE people believe it's the right notes. :P

|Meduza|

This should be an interesting post. I'm in the same 'mood' and situation as I was last night . . . headache, confusion, can't focus. So I babble, but this time you'll read it . . . I believe that Galit learned some new things about me from my babbles last night . . . I can honestly say that I don't remember a thing. I remember I babbled, though.

Y'know, me and my parents don't talk about emotions and stuff. Mainly facts. If I have to go to somewhere, I'm telling them. If I'm thinking of going, I don't. I don't consult them, never ever. I have my friends for that. It doesn't bother me . . . that's how it should be, isn't it? I can ask for help- but not from them. I have this bug, I can't ask for help or for something if it's a direct situation or something. It takes me months to decide something that has something that's to do with them, and some more months to tell them that, and I almost never bring the subject up . . . they have to do it.

And that's why I won't tell them I failed the acceptance in school of the singing . . . I won't tell anybody, almost, accept than direct question. And this blog doesn't count, does it? I won't even tell my voice teacher, because I think she'll tab me as 'no good at singing' or something. I KNOW I could sing better, but I didn't . . . no excuses there, and it's eating me from the inside. It's the first time I ever failed in something that involved singing-- I never failed anything. I've even gotten into the band because of the singing- but on trial. I REALLY don't know how to dance. Sure, it's frustrating, but I never knew how to dance, so it's okay. Sure . . . I might not show it, but every failure I experience eats me. Now I won't perform, for sure. I can't. What if I go off tone in the middle? What if I sing it too low? And worse, what if my parents are there? I can't stand them to see me when I perform or do anything. It's like telling them "I'm doing it because of you", and I don't want that, I want to do things ALONE. . . . at the same time, I CAN'T. I hate it when people interfere when I say I can do it on my own, because it shows that they doubt me, and that maked me doubt myself, and I'm not the all too sure of herself type of girl, on the contrary. I told about a couple of people what I always thought I was good at- singing and writing, and singing failed me.

FAILED!

And I told people I was okay, and I thought I was okay, but it killed me, and I said I was okay only because I wasn't surprised. If I did my best I would've been accepted! But I didn't, and so, I wasn't accepted. I don't know why, it NEVER happened to me . . . not like that . . . I kow I can sing, but I don't trust my voice to listen to my brain when I tell it 'sing WELL'.

At the end, my bad mood all centres around that. So . . . I'm babbling, but I CHOSE to babble. I chose to . . . so I babble . . . I didn't lose control, I don't WANT to lose control. I need to control myself, and my voice. Everybody else is a luxury. controling myself is a NECESSITY. I want to talk about it for a couple of good hours, but I can't, because at the same time, I don't want to tlak about it.

I'm cold. Before I was hot. My belief at the moment is that I worth NOTHING. Sure, I know you'd object, but it won't help. I have to get over it by myself . . . but maybe if I don't want to? Then what? I suffer, but believing in that brings a strange feeling of confidence . . . it's a known situation. Did you know that I don't like changes? That I'm awfully nostalgic? I'm afraid to go out of my little shell, because it forces me to change. I want to just dig a hole and hide there for eternity.

Some things shouldn't have existed. Maybe I'm just one of them . . .

|Meduza|

Okay, I barely have time now.
@_@

Woke up this morning for a Zero hour that's in 7:45. Woke an hour before. Crammed for Hebrew grammar test until about 12:30. Tired.

I think I did well, though.

Two girls during the recess grabbed my butt and giggled. >_< When they did it the second time I slapped their hands away and went away, and so did they, giggling. Didn't help to imrove my mood.

Been 'kidnapped' during my history and citizenship teacher to help her to write the school newpaper. She gave me 'homework'. I told her I didn't have time, but NOOOOOOOO. She gave me an article to rewrite. I'm too tired and crossed to do that, though. I'll continue it tomorrow morning. Oh, and the papers she gave me, I scribbled by mistake on one of them. I'll retype it tomorrow if it's something important.

I wasn't accepted to singing on the graduation ceremony. I'm kinda disappointed . . . but I didn't sing good enough to be accepted. My voice shook a lot. My tone was off. I was shaking, from some reason, so I couldn't hold it properly. I KNEW I wasn't ready to sing in front of crowd . . . Espacially not judges. I'll live . . . I can't say I'm surprised, but I CAN say I'm a lot more better than they think. @_@

I didn't have a single moment for myself today. School until 13:30, got home at two because Lily {H&C teacher} kept me, then I had Shiri and Arabic, and then Thomer and history until an hour ago, and then Galit came, and now I only had fifteen minutes for this blog for myself. My stomach also hurts like a bitch.

Oh, and Lily called me earlier to make sure I'll come tomorrow. @_@ I feel so bad that I don't do it . . .

Bye bye, going to Galit's . . .AGAIN.

13 days of school!

|Meduza|